Fiction mémoire
It was raining. It is too cold, every drop, I was thinking. What were you doing here? Here in this city, the humidity, so I liked it a secret. Often this question as you walk through its most street Fremont Avenue. But I liked walking on it because it gave me slight feeling of satisfaction.
A strange feeling indeed, considering that I had not made any money in the 8 months since I had left. To my horror, I realized I was in a scam to conne a job. I could not go back, I was very proud ... I was my own man after all. Besides I do not think it could have been able to sustain the shame of it all. Why? I was too naive and ignored everyone that told me I was crazy to do. I replied shrugging off what he says and make up stories about the glories of this new work. I did not want to hear the negativity. I just wanted to go out and be a man and live like I was destined to live. Soon, however, has become the conscious and subconscious deception in its place, I began to believe my story. I bought into the dreams and all I could think about was getting my own place.
Here was the plan: the installation in a shop relatives initially, and then after my first paycheck I was going to move to an apartment in the heart of the city proper, with exposed beams and bare brick walls, I have dream of a lifetime. Next on the list is the removal of my old car with its windshield cracked, its four-cylinder oscillating, has managed to survive the loss of travel. The car had served its purpose and would not need more, because now she will live in the center. And nobody in their right mind needs a car in the middle, right? Duh! All we had was a need to move the train and bus. Where I go, well go to work near ... perhaps for the occasional trip to the airport and any random place for a weekend, or maybe the return trip to the publication home to visit my family and the rest of my family, such as nephews and nieces, who I bring gifts of money to pay my first position. All this was not far from the truth, if I had a job.
It rained and I had crossed the 43 Fremont Ave. My head with his thinning hair is sufficient punishment, but the wind did its worst cold steps scraped my scalp dry. "Haircut Suh for you?" Which had started to walk past a nasty puddle when a man standing outside a barber shop grinningly offered me to come within one. I looked at him puzzled wondering if there was some sense by looking at my hair in the hundreds of people walked by with complete sets of hair, had to ask myself. It was very annoying and kind of things that you push down on a day when you no longer need it. I walked past him without answering. You meet strangers in Fremont Ave. Once he was walking and the man dressed as a traditional eighteenth-century Englishmen stopped me and asked about directions to the "best seat in town for tea." I had the crazy English accent, while completely immersed in his character. With people like that, you can never be sure, by giving him a strange look and then gave instructions on how to reach the nearest Starbucks.
Even wondered what the hell I had gotten into me as I did the errands: a part-time work he had done until after quitting the "free concert." After learning that it would not be offset by my movement, and do not get any compensation at all, I was distraught and lifeless. I met a man who gave me a narrow ten hours that I have accepted. I was not an option, is an office job and is better than nothing.
In fact I had many options. My options were either to take this "job" to find work in a fast food restaurant, or go home to question, investigate the eyes of friends and family. Creditors came to me at full speed on all sides then. I had come out of school 9 months and 6 months before the grace period on loans for college is way past. The people of the old bank loan could not wait any longer seemed to me $ 100 a month. They seemed very needy, and annoyingly persistent memories of friendship with their e-mail weekly, biweekly, monthly, via e-mail reminders and randomly at any time of day on my cell phone. Sometimes I dream at night of the school's creditors loans kindly asking me to pay my bills. At least be polite. Besides them, I had not paid the fees on my credit card over the past months. It seemed that they were not getting panicked my 40 bucks a month more for the hungry and needy banks paid. Of course, then my cell phone company bills as each wave surprised me with their outrageous charges that made me mad, then sad, then depressed, then accepting the abuse.
I left the job, and faced once again the wind to reach the bus station. Here is another amazing fact: Since I moved to this city, I could not even sell my car. My car made here, but due to lack of payment, and depleting me, I did not get to the mechanics for regular checkups. This is a terminal patient, how much they knew ... but even they have little money for the review of new creation. One day, by chance, even before I got on the freeway, I realized the heat was measured beyond the abnormally normal abnormal marks the halfway point. The needle is resting andalusia slapping the bottom of the screen, well before the end of the red mark. My old car. I was tempted to quit, but could be a loud-mouth no assurance of my independence. Was entitled under the name of a relative, and authorities would have immediately sent a letter to come pick up your car left, which led him to suspect the obvious, and then saying the rest of the family. I decided to do to my drive. That's when I started taking the bus. There is no shame in taking the bus or the train and guess. But hell has no fury, you would miss the bus, that my world collapsed to a miserable halt.
Sometimes I accepted the fact that I am only prolonging the inevitable. I expected to lose my last and back to the family. What questions would I have done all this time? Why could not get a job anywhere? For shame everyone, then, to "fix" my resume, my failure to learn to be successful anywhere. So my point is, I understand that and I'm just not good at being independent. I can make an excuse, but it would be another farce. After all, you are a product of decisions made.
Therefore, I am here - not in the humid city, but also - and sit still. I look outside a coffee and go on living lies. I sleep with a woman who meet, children to me naked, I will buy the house, not the life I live with my independence.
It was raining. It is too cold, every drop, I was thinking. What were you doing here? Here in this city, the humidity, so I liked it a secret. Often this question as you walk through its most street Fremont Avenue. But I liked walking on it because it gave me slight feeling of satisfaction.
A strange feeling indeed, considering that I had not made any money in the 8 months since I had left. To my horror, I realized I was in a scam to conne a job. I could not go back, I was very proud ... I was my own man after all. Besides I do not think it could have been able to sustain the shame of it all. Why? I was too naive and ignored everyone that told me I was crazy to do. I replied shrugging off what he says and make up stories about the glories of this new work. I did not want to hear the negativity. I just wanted to go out and be a man and live like I was destined to live. Soon, however, has become the conscious and subconscious deception in its place, I began to believe my story. I bought into the dreams and all I could think about was getting my own place.
Here was the plan: the installation in a shop relatives initially, and then after my first paycheck I was going to move to an apartment in the heart of the city proper, with exposed beams and bare brick walls, I have dream of a lifetime. Next on the list is the removal of my old car with its windshield cracked, its four-cylinder oscillating, has managed to survive the loss of travel. The car had served its purpose and would not need more, because now she will live in the center. And nobody in their right mind needs a car in the middle, right? Duh! All we had was a need to move the train and bus. Where I go, well go to work near ... perhaps for the occasional trip to the airport and any random place for a weekend, or maybe the return trip to the publication home to visit my family and the rest of my family, such as nephews and nieces, who I bring gifts of money to pay my first position. All this was not far from the truth, if I had a job.
It rained and I had crossed the 43 Fremont Ave. My head with his thinning hair is sufficient punishment, but the wind did its worst cold steps scraped my scalp dry. "Haircut Suh for you?" Which had started to walk past a nasty puddle when a man standing outside a barber shop grinningly offered me to come within one. I looked at him puzzled wondering if there was some sense by looking at my hair in the hundreds of people walked by with complete sets of hair, had to ask myself. It was very annoying and kind of things that you push down on a day when you no longer need it. I walked past him without answering. You meet strangers in Fremont Ave. Once he was walking and the man dressed as a traditional eighteenth-century Englishmen stopped me and asked about directions to the "best seat in town for tea." I had the crazy English accent, while completely immersed in his character. With people like that, you can never be sure, by giving him a strange look and then gave instructions on how to reach the nearest Starbucks.
Even wondered what the hell I had gotten into me as I did the errands: a part-time work he had done until after quitting the "free concert." After learning that it would not be offset by my movement, and do not get any compensation at all, I was distraught and lifeless. I met a man who gave me a narrow ten hours that I have accepted. I was not an option, is an office job and is better than nothing.
In fact I had many options. My options were either to take this "job" to find work in a fast food restaurant, or go home to question, investigate the eyes of friends and family. Creditors came to me at full speed on all sides then. I had come out of school 9 months and 6 months before the grace period on loans for college is way past. The people of the old bank loan could not wait any longer seemed to me $ 100 a month. They seemed very needy, and annoyingly persistent memories of friendship with their e-mail weekly, biweekly, monthly, via e-mail reminders and randomly at any time of day on my cell phone. Sometimes I dream at night of the school's creditors loans kindly asking me to pay my bills. At least be polite. Besides them, I had not paid the fees on my credit card over the past months. It seemed that they were not getting panicked my 40 bucks a month more for the hungry and needy banks paid. Of course, then my cell phone company bills as each wave surprised me with their outrageous charges that made me mad, then sad, then depressed, then accepting the abuse.
I left the job, and faced once again the wind to reach the bus station. Here is another amazing fact: Since I moved to this city, I could not even sell my car. My car made here, but due to lack of payment, and depleting me, I did not get to the mechanics for regular checkups. This is a terminal patient, how much they knew ... but even they have little money for the review of new creation. One day, by chance, even before I got on the freeway, I realized the heat was measured beyond the abnormally normal abnormal marks the halfway point. The needle is resting andalusia slapping the bottom of the screen, well before the end of the red mark. My old car. I was tempted to quit, but could be a loud-mouth no assurance of my independence. Was entitled under the name of a relative, and authorities would have immediately sent a letter to come pick up your car left, which led him to suspect the obvious, and then saying the rest of the family. I decided to do to my drive. That's when I started taking the bus. There is no shame in taking the bus or the train and guess. But hell has no fury, you would miss the bus, that my world collapsed to a miserable halt.
Sometimes I accepted the fact that I am only prolonging the inevitable. I expected to lose my last and back to the family. What questions would I have done all this time? Why could not get a job anywhere? For shame everyone, then, to "fix" my resume, my failure to learn to be successful anywhere. So my point is, I understand that and I'm just not good at being independent. I can make an excuse, but it would be another farce. After all, you are a product of decisions made.
Therefore, I am here - not in the humid city, but also - and sit still. I look outside a coffee and go on living lies. I sleep with a woman who meet, children to me naked, I will buy the house, not the life I live with my independence.
